I'm ready
7:11am- now the real work begins. I'm going to move out this apartment ASAP!! I gotta write up my budget as well. Figure out if I'm going to pay off my debt or not. It's time to really do this thing... I think fear makes me think of her. But I pray God releases me from my desires for toxic people.
10:10am- ok let me move some stuff today. Feels a bit confusing like what to move first... An I need to accept help more and stop denying people from helping me. God got me, but I feel a tinge of fear. I know God got me, I literally looked over my budget. I can afford my mortgage... I might not get my Tesla next year. Instead I probably pay off all my debt. I really wanna live a debt free life style. Build back up my cash nest egg.
2:44pm- I didn't cook no food, I didn't buy no food either. I been moving our stuff into our house. I took 23 out there to check it out. She was excited and liked it. I tried to get some pizza for me and the boys. But ain't nothing open, ain't no food out here. That's horrible man. Hopefully 23 give me a plate of food. Ain't pressure if she don't, I'm about to go home and maybe cook this fish. My heart keeps feeling some way every now and than. But I keep praying. God keep me from wanting things that's not good for me. Keep me from wanting toxic trash people. Keep me positive and a good person.
4:44pm- I'm still making trips. I'm probably not going to stop either. Yeah fuck it, I'm ready. Hell if I can get out by December that's even better. That way they can fix the place up and rent it for January. They won't miss out on to much money. But yeah I'm ready to get into my house. To start my new life. Allah has blessed me so much. I'm ready... I'm tired of toxic people. Tired of wanting toxic people. I refuse to miss her too think of her. To desire her. Especially knowing to her I'm so easily replaceable. Knowing she literally down graded. What an insult to me, the bitch literally down graded. Fucking whore!!! Nope nope nope Allah knows best. She's living her life. Caviar isn't for everybody.
8:03pm- I had a productive day today moving my stuff. I had to pray God removes this woman from my heart and mind. She's not for me it's not his will. So stop the devil from putting her in my mind and heart. Free me from the love of things that are trash and beneath me. Free me from toxic relationships and from desiring toxic destructive people. God wanted me to let her go, so free me from thinking of her or feeling some way. And never bring her back into my life. I pray God answers my prayer and allows me to move forward with my life. I have a house now, still got money in the bank and invested. I can afford my mortgage and lifestyle by myself. I pray God helps me continue on this path of greatness and keep trashy women away from me. I want a high quality good woman. No more eaters, no more hoes, no more smuts. Please God I'm ready for better. I want better. I deserve better.
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