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11:01pm- it's crazy to me that women literally like me and it's always some reason they won't give into that. They job stops them, since I'm a client. Or we work together and they don't like that. Or they live in another state or county and they don't like that. An it's like baby I'm not forcing nothing. An I don't want no long distance relationship. But I'm my mind it's like this is God. God don't want me with this or that person. He literally is saving me for a specific person. An is like who Lord? Where they at? Cause I'm ready for my wife. But whatever I got to focus on other things. Focus on my books, exercising, YouTube, and I signed back up to college so I'm get my bachelor's degree as well. I'm going to bed, I gotta get my sleep schedule back in order. Get my routine back in order.
I'm going to get my car washed and put it on there. But I'm not off until Thursday. Fuck it let's get the money. I was thinking all of March will be writing. Only do my YouTube on my days off. But before or after work is writing. I gotta write my books and advertise it on my website. I just gotta focus my energy.
5:36am- yeah I'm tired…an what a dream. I dreamt of people but now I can't remember who. I felt, odd a bit but it wasn't that bad. I can't remember who it was. But it was someone from my past. Dang man, whatever. But yeah I'm tired. Today going to be a long day. I'm back at work. I gotta get my morning routine in order as well. Ugh let me go get some coffee, definitely going to pack some coffee as well.
6:56am- For the month of March I wanna try to really focus. Like no youtube unless I’m at work. An when I get home either make a video or work on my book(s). Nothing else, unless I’m reading one of my books. An going to bed around ten or eleven the latest. Last night I went to bed around eleven or so. An I don’t feel super tired today but this morning I lingered around ina sleepy stupor. So it’s like nah man, go to bed on time then get up early and jump out of bed to start. In the morning that’s my time to meditate, exercise, pray, journal, get ready for the day. I don’t wanna linger in bed rolling around looking at email, checking messages (which none are from who I really want to hear from) looking at my bank account and stocks and crypto. That’s not the way I want to start my morning, so I think for March I’m going to do the hard thing and really push myself. Let me get Jophiel up and start this day with him. Get him ready for what’s to come.
6:47pm- I feel tired, I'm about to shower and go lay down. But took at my car advertising sticker.
7:00pm- ever since I learned I'm working Sunday I feel a bit anxious...a bit scared. But I'm sitting with my belief. God has kept that girl away from me for a reason. I don't think I'll ever see her again if she's not for me. If she is for me the next time I see her she'll come and talk to me. We'll fix this thing. So Sunday she won't be there or if she is there she'll talk to me and we'll fix it. An my mind is like an if she's there and doesn't talk to you. Then what? An I'm like that's not going to happen. That's not God plan.
8:41- Oh snap, she said two weeks from now I’m taking her out. Absolutely I will, I think I know where I’m take her also. Take her out for dinner. Oh yes. She got that gorgeous smile, banging body shape, Oh yeah I like her. An she talks, she says what she wants, she speaks her mind. Oh yeah I’m fucking with her. She got two daughters, which is fine because I literally love kids. Yo God is good, this could be it. OK so let me not think of the future or think ahead. I’m just relax and cool it. Like I been waiting for this, waiting to feel this excitement. This flame inside…it’s different from what I felt when I saw E. I wonder if Mer was right. What I felt when I saw E is not my spirit warm and happy. It was my gut telling me to avoid her, my intuition telling me she is trouble. I have no idea, I’m going with the flow. No rush just going with the flow of life. Whatever God wants…an definitely I’m going back to college. I gotta get out the post office. I need more money, I want to be able to shower my woman with presents, take her out often, pay for flights, and go on road trips. Like I want to be able to really treat my woman like a queen. Because that’s my love language. That’s me, I like pouring into my woman. I like being able to give my woman nice things. So I think for the month of March I’m going to focus on my book(s) and on my days off make youtube videos. So this Thursday I’m going to make my gobabytrade video and maybe 2 or 3 other videos.
9:34pm- ok God, I think I'm getting it. I'm not fully into my new life and I'm completely out of my old life. I really hope things are going how they should. I believe it, I'm sitting with it. I have faith I have belief. I'm going to bed soon. I feel a little tired and I really want March to be a working month. February I was chilling all month. I'm grind in March. Get my mind ready for school.
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